not happy with my life

[Don Parks]

I am a 29 years old and still live at home with my parents and work for
them
at their business. I dropped out of college 10 years ago. I am fairly
smart
and good looking yet I never date, and am going nowhere in my life. I am
sure that I am capable of doing so much better but something is holding
me
back. My best friends who used to once look up to me, are now doing so
much
better. One of them is actually 3 years younger and he has a house, wife
and
a kid on the way. I don't know why but I have such a feeling of resent
towards them. I have lived in a different state for nearly 8 years and
they
visit every year. Likewise, every year I visit my hometown and this
summer I
am afraid to face them and their kids. I admit I am sociophobic. Lord
help
me I wish I could break out of the situation I am from. I am not
suicidal
and don't (usually) hate myself. In fact I love myself, I know I am
capable
of doing so much better, even my friends know it. I know this is why
they
still have some respect for me. Please tell me if there is anyone out
there
who feels even remotely like this? I am so lonely...



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[abdul rahim]

x-no-archive: yes

Yes your feelings are familiar to many of us here.

I think we have a personality type or personality failing ---- we are
the sort who fall into a rut where we are materially comfortable while
we are also free of the emotional risk taking of trying to find a
mate. Spared both poverty and pain, we decide to stay in the orbit of
this lonely but safe existence.

I am much older than you and have wound up in the same situation,
though I do live by myself rather than stay with my parents. In fact,
I live several hundred miles from them.


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[missussippie]

Hi Don,

Well, don't worry, you are not alone in this!

Still living at home at 29 is a little late, I must confess, but why
don't you look for your own place?
Or is fear of even more loneliness scaring you off?

The best way to break the feeling of solitude is to expand your social
network.

Surely you must have more than one friend? Maybe friends from the past
who you've neglected? Pay them a surprise visit (or telephone call),
they might appreciate it as much as you.
Try to make new friends by joining a bowling club, baseball, church,
whatever, these are the best places to make new friends. Try to find a
mutual subject of interest and carry on from there. If you really are
sociofobic, you should keep the duration of meeting up with a friend
to a controlable length, i.e. one or two hours. Start a friendship
slowly, for example, invite someone to the movies, to play squash or
tennis. Don't take them home straight off, it might be too
confronting.

I can advice you so well on this issue, because I'm very similar in
behavior to you. Often I sit at home wondering why no one is calling
me. If this horrid feeling of loneliness creeps upon me, it is usually
due to my own behavior of avoidance. In order to shake it, I have to
meet a friend after working hours at least twice a week. More is
prefarable but not always realistic. So I call them instead and
usually they are very receptive about it!

Remember, if you are a good looking guy like you say with a nice
character, you have nothing to worry about. People should welcome such
a friend.
Don't worry about not having a wife and kiddies yet. Once your social
network starts expanding, you might even find it easier to approach
girls/women. In regard to reproduction, men are not bound to age as
much as women, so so what if the steady relationship is not due for
another 10 years? You might live to be over 80 ! And if you really,
really can't find this precious partner, how about a little cyber
dating?

Thumbs up my friend!

Maria

Post by Don Parks
I am a 29 years old and still live at home with my parents and work for
them
at their business. I dropped out of college 10 years ago. I am fairly
smart
and good looking yet I never date, and am going nowhere in my life. I am
sure that I am capable of doing so much better but something is holding
me
back. My best friends who used to once look up to me, are now doing so
much
better. One of them is actually 3 years younger and he has a house, wife
and
a kid on the way. I don't know why but I have such a feeling of resent
towards them. I have lived in a different state for nearly 8 years and
they
visit every year. Likewise, every year I visit my hometown and this
summer I
am afraid to face them and their kids. I admit I am sociophobic. Lord
help
me I wish I could break out of the situation I am from. I am not
suicidal
and don't (usually) hate myself. In fact I love myself, I know I am
capable
of doing so much better, even my friends know it. I know this is why
they
still have some respect for me. Please tell me if there is anyone out
there
who feels even remotely like this? I am so lonely...
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[DianeS703]

I am unhappy with my life also. I live alone and have few friends. The few I
have critize me because my disability makes me unable to work. I am also not
suicidal. I just wish things would chane and peope understood that I am trying
the best I can.


Diane


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[Louis]

*hugs*
Louis

Post by DianeS703
I am unhappy with my life also. I live alone and have few friends. The

few
I

Post by DianeS703
have critize me because my disability makes me unable to work. I am

also
not

Post by DianeS703
suicidal. I just wish things would chane and peope understood that I

am
trying

Post by DianeS703
the best I can.
Diane

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