What to say...

[Joseph]

It's 3 A.M., and I'm sitting in my college dorm room thinking. I
really don't even know what I'm doing here, i dont have any
expectations of any one helping me or answering back, i guess i just
need somewhere to vent, ya know?
I'm 18 years old, I'm a college freshman. I grew up in white
suburbia, no family problems. Never talked much to family, just
kind've got along.
I'm scared - long story short, I'm realizing more and more that i
give of myself freely, and nothing ever comes back to me in return. I
have alot of friends, and i make them easily. I'm even a youth leader
with the Rotary, I can be really good with people. But I...i feel
like an asshole saying i dont have a 'best friend', but its the only
way i can express it and hope someone will understand. I just...i
need someone to accept and understand me, to look inside me and see
what I am- and no one is ever there. I've got no one here, or
anywhere, and it's eating me alive. I'm the kind of person who cares
about everyone tenfold the caring i get back, and i dont know what to
do.
I guess i just wanted to express that I'm lonely, and i wanted
someone to know about it. I find myself just sitting in my room
sometime, talking to myself, wanting to say what i feel - and there's
no one there to listen, to understand. My heart just breaks when i
think about that, that no one really gives a shit what happens to me
right now, that no one has any emotional investment in what I'm going
through. I can't say I'm depressed, i dont think i need therapy. I
just....i dont know, i guess i just needed someone to hear my words
for once, and not to keep it all inside.
Thanks to anyone who read this, i'm probably not even making any
sense....g'night, any helpful thoughts would be appreciated.


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[Garry]

Joseph,

I had the same problems when I was 18 I know them only to well, I never
had
a "best friend". So I decided to go join the airforce as I thought that
I
must be able to find someone there, and I did, I had tons of good
friends
but never that elusive best friend that really understood me. I then
left
the airforce after 9 years after making some really good friends that I
still talk to today. It wasn't until 1 year later when I started a new
job
and started talking with one of the other guys there, and over the next
year we have become the best of friends. I suppose what I'm trying to
say is
that you can't go out and find a best friend, a best friend is something
that has to have time to grow. it's a mutual understanding of each
other. I
know this isn't much comfort, but a lot of us have been in the same
position
as yourself, and many still are. The friends you have now, could one day
become that best friend !!
I hope all goes well for you

Garry

Post by Joseph
It's 3 A.M., and I'm sitting in my college dorm room thinking. I
really don't even know what I'm doing here, i dont have any
expectations of any one helping me or answering back, i guess i just
need somewhere to vent, ya know?
I'm 18 years old, I'm a college freshman. I grew up in white
suburbia, no family problems. Never talked much to family, just
kind've got along.
I'm scared - long story short, I'm realizing more and more that i
give of myself freely, and nothing ever comes back to me in return. I
have alot of friends, and i make them easily. I'm even a youth leader
with the Rotary, I can be really good with people. But I...i feel
like an asshole saying i dont have a 'best friend', but its the only
way i can express it and hope someone will understand. I just...i
need someone to accept and understand me, to look inside me and see
what I am- and no one is ever there. I've got no one here, or
anywhere, and it's eating me alive. I'm the kind of person who cares
about everyone tenfold the caring i get back, and i dont know what to
do.
I guess i just wanted to express that I'm lonely, and i wanted
someone to know about it. I find myself just sitting in my room
sometime, talking to myself, wanting to say what i feel - and there's
no one there to listen, to understand. My heart just breaks when i
think about that, that no one really gives a shit what happens to me
right now, that no one has any emotional investment in what I'm going
through. I can't say I'm depressed, i dont think i need therapy. I
just....i dont know, i guess i just needed someone to hear my words
for once, and not to keep it all inside.
Thanks to anyone who read this, i'm probably not even making any
sense....g'night, any helpful thoughts would be appreciated.

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[Patricia White]

My heart goes out to you young man
Many years ago, I felt very much the way you do now and it took me quite
a long while to discover that the reason I didn't get the support I
needed was because
I wasn't letting folks know me on a very
deep level.

Always looking out for others was a way
to assuage my own pain and needs without facing them myself. Perhaps a
counselor could give you some guidance in this area. It's not that
others don't care,
you might just be hiding your vulnerability
from yourself and others.

At any rate, a counselor might be just
the help you need now. You sound
like a really great guy, so hang in there.
The world needs all the caring people
it can get.



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